Jody Talkin’

The battle between the simple life and the complexities of life.

A lot of people hate country music. I am partial to the country music I listened to growing up, probably largely because of the nostalgia behind it. Countless country tunes, such as “Simple Life” by Carolyn Dawn Johnson, speak to the American Dream which I had the privilege of growing up in. It makes me thankful for my blessings. These days, when I listen to songs like this it’s easy to tune out the chaos of the world and just dream of creating my own American Dream- a loving husband, beautiful children, working my dream job to pay for our nice home in the country. But then you look at the hurt and brokenness of the world…

Of course, dreaming of or having these things is not inherently bad. However, I must make a confession- at times listening to this music induces the same feelings as when I listen to/sing worship music. Essentially, I begin to worship these ideas, these lyrics which speak of my ideals in this world. At times I even feel entitled to these blessings.

That’s where I believe we have a problem.

As a Christian, I am called to a life which builds Christ Kingdom, not my own. While we can be blessed (privileged) on this Earth- by being born into certain families/ receiving certain opportunities/ being exempt from some major barriers- we are not entitled to these privileges. Christians sometimes convince themselves that a life surrendered to Christ implies earthly blessings will be given as a reward.

If you look at the Biblical story of Job, we know this is not true. He had his family, wealth, and wellbeing stripped away; he was faithful despite all this and yet never received earthly “redemption” for his losses. Job believed he was faultless in his response to the challenges God threw at him. He felt because he was still faithful despite these major blows, He was entitled to answers from God, which in and of itself was his fault in dealing with his circumstances. (I recommend reading the entire book of Job- it’s crazy.)

What I’ve been learning recently, through experience and reading Inside Out by Larry Crabb, is that even if we are completely faithful to Christ, you will not necessarily be rewarded for it on Earth. You may have suffering after suffering in this life and not know why, but we must still have faith in Christ and believe that He is good.

In January this year, I made what I thought was a very sacrificial decision that was extremely hard. After being praised by my family and friends for making this hard decision, I felt God needed to bring a rainbow after the storm. In my mind, I was now entitled to complete peace and joy (in an earthly sense) and a replacement for the thing I gave up (a key part to my American Dream). I was impatient with Christ and made selfish decisions in order to make those blessings I felt entitled to happen.

In fact, I’m still guilty of doing this. It looks different, but in a way I have been demanding something from God that I feel entitled to. What I am asking for may or not happen, and I need to know that whether or not He grants my request is not a condition of my faithfulness. I can be as faithful as Job and still not receive that which I’ve trustfully implored from God. That being said, I can still live in hope and trust that Christ might work in this way. If He does not, I must be equally as faithful and trusting. I can live in faith, but I cannot demand God. His ways are perfect even when we don’t understand them.

In the same way, we must believe God is working and good in the midst of the brokenness and hurt of the world (outside of the American Dream). These past few months, my heart for this world has been heavy, something many people have felt similarly. How do we as privileged Christians justify living in our little bubbles while the world around us crumbles? Well, I don’t think we can, yet somehow I manage to be complacent anyways. Yet the command is simple:

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Micah 6:8

Or as Casting Crowns puts it, seek justice.

What does it mean to seek justice and love mercy when it comes to systemic racism? What about in terms of the rights of people who live in ways that we don’t agree with? It seems the church has a lot to wrestle through with these matters. The beauty is that we get to “walk humbly with [our] God.” We get to make mistakes, but we must actively seek justice and mercy, not be complacent.

I think I have a beautiful platform to do this in the fall as I get to teach and learn at a Christian school. I am excited to seek justice and love mercy alongside young people who will have a diversity of perspectives. I know these conversations will not be easy and will require A LOT of humility, but I am called to this action by Christ and will continue to work at it. These complex conversations are definitely a starting point in our rural white communities, but it is clear that action of some form is also needed. With a humble shift in attitude from privileged white Christian communities, the actions necessary for change (ie. informed voting) are more likely to happen.

We know that the world will always be flawed and that this is not our home, but we have a responsibility to act justly while we inhabit it. I myself have so much to learn and act upon. It is my prayer that I (and all Christians) act in humility and with grace that exemplifies Christ’s character.

“But you must return to your God; maintain love and justice, and wait for your God always.”

Hosea 12:6

Whenever you meet someone who has a “my way or the highway” type attitude, your initial reaction is probably to be turned off by their apparent arrogance and lack of humility. How then can Christians say that Jesus is the only way to heaven and expect people to not be turned off by it? This is a struggle many people have with Christianity and I think it’s a big part of why Christians are “persecuted” the way they currently are in our society. I myself have struggled with this idea, and even after thinking I’ve sort of figured it out, I have struggled to articulate my thoughts/research/experience- so here’s me attempting to do so.

First things first.

My “arguments” are based on Scripture and the acknowledgement that God is real and is Sovereign. In order to use the Bible as a basis for an argument, I must believe it is a reliable source. The Bible is the Word of God- meaning I believe it is the truth and has authority over all else (of course, there is some subjectivity in interpreting the Bible, but some Truths are written plain as day, various times throughout Scriptures, directly translated from the original manuscripts).

So, what makes Jesus so special? What makes him different than Mohammed or Buddha? Why is my God the one true God?

I’ve spent pretty much my whole life as a Christian. Yet I’ve never so clearly understood the reason why Jesus is the only way until a few days ago. As I read Colossians the other day, the Holy Spirit revealed, so simply, the plainest truth (I can’t believe I haven’t made the connection ever before in my life): a holy God needs His people to be holy.

If we believe in God, that He is the creator of everything and in control of everything- we surely believe He created humans. Humans are the only creatures made in God’s image (scientists marvel at the “statistical improbability” of such creatures coming into existence… almost as if it were not left up to chance…). We have an intelligence like no other living thing- surely God had a plan for us. From Scripture, we see that the plan was to have us be in relationship with Him (there is lots of scripture on this, but let’s go with Revelation today:

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”)

Revelation 3:20

…But He is holy, and we are not (we’re stained with sin from the choices we make- because of the free will He gave us so that we might choose to truly love Him, not be forced into it). So, if we are to be in perfect relationship with an Almighty, perfect and holy God, we must become holy. Seems like a tall order. Before Jesus, the Jews made animal sacrifices as a payment for sin. But this was not a sustainable method, and only did so much… Enter Jesus- the perfect sacrifice, God made flesh, a way to wash us white as snow so we can be blameless in God’s sight:

“But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.”

Colossians 1:22

Of course Jesus is the only way to heaven/eternal life with God. He is the only perfect sacrifice to make us holy enough to be in His presence. Duh Jody. Also, cool. (I’ve been told these things and have understood them separately my whole life, but for some reason had an “ah ha!” moment about it the other day). Check this verse out:

“For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.”

Colossians 2:9-10

Mohammed didn’t make that sacrifice, nor was He God’s son. How can we have access to Allah, a Sovereign Deity, if we are mere humans? Or if we are required to live out Magga (Buddha’s eight-fold path) in order to achieve Nirodha (the end of suffering), there is no way of doing this perfectly- we are human. Our salvation is then conditional on perfection, which is impossible to achieve. But with Christ as a sacrifice, we experience an unconditional grace from God, we just have to accept it. We can be so far from perfect, yet still approach God as blameless because of the Sacrifice Jesus paid, the most selfless act of grace imaginable. Wowza! PTL, THANK YOU JESUS!

… But what about those who never hear about Jesus? In the times of the early church, I think it’s safe to say the apostles were not reaching people like Indigenous North Americans. There are still tribes in remote places throughout the earth who have not heard about Jesus.

I hesitate to even talk about this because me and my little earthly brain know so little. When I look at Scripture like Romans 10 or John 14:6, it seems pretty clear that we must hear about and believe in Jesus to be saved. So then, how can we justify this exclusivity? That’s a tough one, and what I have to say may seem like a cop out, but it’s so far beyond my understanding. I think we tend to impose our human understanding on God and deem this exclusivity as “unfair.” God is so unfathomable, and His ways are so much higher than anything we can comprehend, so we have to trust that He knows what He’s doing. All I can say is, thank goodness He’s the final judge and not us. However, if we keep these things in mind, we as Christians should burn with desire to share the Gospel into all corners of the earth- we should want nothing more than for everyone to experience God’s love and grace, for them to come party with us in heaven.

(A quick note about evangelism- our sharing of the Gospel should be fueled by our experience of Grace and a desire for all to come to know and experience the love and grace of our God and King. If we start using scare tactics and condemning people to hell (another concept which we cannot fathom), we are lacking the grace and love of Jesus.)

So, if you’re reading this and you are not a Christian, or even if you are, I pray that Christ will be revealed to you and that you will see him as he is- a gift of grace from God, the sacrifice made for everyone (including you). I pray that you will desire that relationship with the perfect Creator who desires to be in relationship with us, even after the world as we know it ceases to exist. I pray that in these uncertain times where our security has been taken away, you will put your hope in the one true God, the one thing that will remain when all else fails us. I pray that you will experience His love and grace in ways you never imagined you could.

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:2

I love love love Christ and how He reveals more about His character the more we seek Him. I want everyone to know Him and experience grace to the fullest.

“We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labour, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.”

Colossians 1:28-29

Hold on to your shorts millennials and iGens, this is gonna go against everything your TikToks and Instagram have ever told you.

I’ve always been passionate about selflessness, but I suck at it. In the last 7 years that I have been in school, I have bought the lies of entitlement that our society screams at us. I felt that taking extra time out of my day, as a student who was taking 7 to 8 classes per semester, to focus on others was something I was excused from since I was taking this time to “focus on me.” I always figured I would start “fulfilling my purpose” once I started my “real life” after graduation. What the heck?? Why did I feel I was so important that I needed 7 years of my life to focus on myself and myself only? Especially when that time mostly involved very unproductive methods of existing that didn’t benefit me anyways.

I often use(d) introversion as an excuse to not love people well. Convincing myself I was the queen of being alone, taking pride in my isolation, I put very little effort into loving people in my life and building relationships. This was a really cool mask I used, but there were times when I felt so alone and that I had no one to turn to. I felt I did not deserve any support because I wasn’t there for my friends/family in the ways I should have been. The introverted corner I painted myself into came back to bite me. This is not to say that we should be there for others with the expectation that they’ll be there for us, but building healthy and Godly relationships (community), is what God calls us to. He can and will use those relationships for your benefit. So maybe sometimes you need to skip that candle-lit bubble bath and meet with a friend for coffee.

Don’t get me wrong, there is something to be said for taking time to yourself. In my time of grieving and processing this past month, time to myself has been both my best friend and worst enemy. When I choose to “wallow,” believing the lies I’ve been told that I’m entitled to a time of self-pity, my mind goes berserk and I do things that aren’t beneficial, or even destructive in the long run. When I choose to do things that I believe should help me- reading Scripture, listening to podcasts, praying, playing or listening to worship music- that also doesn’t necessarily give me the comfort that I expect it to. So how do I justify it? If watching Netflix and eating chocolate sometimes makes me feel better than spending time with Jesus, why would I do the latter? It’s a lot of work to have to grapple with questions of identity and purpose.

Our modern version of Christianity sells our faith as a transactional relationship- have spiritual discipline and increase your faith, then you will experience all the joys of God and He will make it all better. He’ll give you joy and comfort and peace, He’ll take away the pain… What a millennial way of looking at God. We feel if we exercise spiritual discipline and put in the work, we are entitled to earthly blessings. Instant gratification. As if the assurance of Salvation is not enough.

I’ve been learning that introspection (not wallowing or numbing) is the key to taking time to yourself. God wants us to understand ourselves- what it is that we truly desire, our inherently selfish motives behind anything we ask of Him, our sinful nature, a humble realization of the strengths He has given us. He wants us to know these things so that we can fully understand our need for His grace. Our deepest desires cannot and will not be fulfilled on this Earth, that’s the beauty of Salvation. We cannot experience perfect peace (no matter how close we think we are when we conjure up the American dream) until we are truly washed white as snow in the true presence of Jesus. Christians should not be comfortable. How can we, with the acknowledgement of our sinful nature and the corruption in the world, both love Jesus/desire what He desires and live a comfortable life? I’m more often than not guilty of living this comfortable modern Christian life, and I’m calling myself out on it.

[Side note: I believe the North American church, from the most orthodox to the most progressive denominations, have mastered the art of comfortable Christianity. In some form or another, we justify our comfortability. We feel we can serve God and live the comfortable American dream and be perfectly content. It’s no wonder the global church is dwindling in numbers. There is virtually no difference between us and the rest of the world at this point. In fact, the rest of the world is often better at loving people than the church because the church is scared to be uncomfortable and love people who don’t fit into the small box we have created around Christianity. We have to go beyond the comfort of tithing, church events, devotional times, etc.]

This is not to say that our time on Earth is to be miserable. When we realize how much we are in need of grace, we can be filled with so much hope because of the assurance of Salvation. The hope we have in Jesus’s grace is what sustains us on this earth. Also, it should be noted that being consistently comfortable and experiencing joy are two different things. God is so cool and gives us joy in our earthly experiences on the regular. It sounds silly, but it is obviously not a bad thing that the sun beams warming me through my sweater right now are making me feel good inside, despite the fact that I am stained by sin. I, in all of my sin and lack of wisdom, can experience joy and hope because I know Jesus and I know that He will save us from ourselves in the end. At the same time, I can have an aching in my heart that I do not fully understand, with endless desires for ‘worldly’ things, things that will make me feel better in the moment (e.g. alcohol, sex, junk food, etc.). I can be deeply heartbroken at my own sinful nature and the sin that permeates this world, knowing this ache will never be satisfied on earth. Until Jesus comes, the world is going to continue to disappoint us, and that’s the territory that comes with the free will God gave us. However, with an increasing understanding of ourselves and of God, we can live well through the heartache and can be so grateful for the joyful experiences we are given. We can also learn to more efficiently serve God and show His love well to the world around us.

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

Romans 5:1-5

This weekend I read a book called “Astrophysics for People in a Hurry” by Neil DeGrasse Tyson (that’s right, I read a whole book, a scientific book at that, in 4 days! This is impressive for me). There is a lot of scientific mumble-jumble that I would never even be able to attempt to understand. A lot of theories that I have a hard time understanding, and scientists themselves don’t even understand. However, with all of the inconclusiveness of scientific research, there is one conclusion we can make- the universe is ridiculously complex and we will never fully be able to understand it. It’s absurd to look up at the star-filled night sky and realize that the Earth is only a tiny portion of the universe. Yet, I do the same thing with God and limit Him to my small little world in southern Manitoba. I simplify faith in Christ to be a transactional process, which can exist in my comfortable little box. God is so much greater and complex than we can imagine. It’s both overwhelming and exciting to think how much I have yet to learn about God and about how He has created me.

Christians, let’s not think we have figured God out, let’s keep pressing into deeper knowledge of who He is and who He has created us to be. Let’s do this so we can be efficient and effective in how we show the world the love of Jesus and lead them into this hope of Salvation.

Take time for yourself in introspection. Ask yourself hard questions, keep digging deeper. Have wise people help you with figuring this out. Do not be content with just going through the motions and living a comfortable “Christian” life. Be content in the gift of grace, because Lord knows we need it!

Doxology

³³ Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
    How unsearchable his judgments,
    and his paths beyond tracing out!
³⁴ “Who has known the mind of the Lord?
    Or who has been his counselor?”
³⁵ “Who has ever given to God,
    that God should repay them?”
³⁶ For from him and through him and for him are all things.
    To him be the glory forever! Amen.

Romans 11:33-36

There are three things that I can’t shut up about lately- 1. My problems (sorry friends); 2. God’s grace; and 3. the Holy Spirit. I think I currently like to talk about these things so much so that it is annoying.

I’ve often found Christians annoying. They seem to always be struggling through something and dragging other people into their mess or making things complicated and uncomfortable. Over the years, I’ve often fallen into the trap of thinking I can logic my way through my issues, that the world is not that complex, that you just have to be smart and shut up/suck it up. I am a very capable and confident young woman, with strong mental well-being- meaning I don’t always necessarily feel an overt need for God (ironic since He’s the giver and molder of those characteristics in me). I live a good life, I love others, and I’m involved in the church. The ebb and flow of the Christian walk has been ever present in my life. My faith has always been important to me- even when I went through an extended season of doubt, it was important to me to seek and find answers. For that I am truly grateful- that the Holy Spirit has been consistently pursuing my heart and not letting me settle for less than what God desires for me. In the past month, I’ve been grappling with who the Holy Spirit is and the role He plays in my faith. Allow me to explain more…

About a month ago, God asked me to give up one of the best things in my life. Something I believed was a beautiful gift from God and was in constant prayer about. Giving it up was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I felt as though I was Abraham, being asked to surrender Isaac (now if only God would just say, “just kidding- just go sacrifice a ram,” haha). God had been nudging me in the direction of sacrificing this part of my life for a while before I actually did it. It was through a life-changing event that he gave me the big push I needed to do it. (Sorry for the vagueness, but most people who know me can probably piece together what I mean by this). The response from so many of my family and friends was “I’m proud of you.” This was honestly not my favourite thing to here in the moment, since I was deeply heartbroken.

In the case of Abraham and Isaac, God said “Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son” (Genesis 22: 12). I have to trust God and believe that He is proud of me for the sacrifice I made, that He has greater things in store for me, and that He will use this part of my life for good. However, it is not something I have come to know or feel as of yet (I could rant about the difference between knowing and feeling, but I’ll save that for another day). That’s hard to admit. I’ve made this huge decision, have suffered greatly for it, and have reaped little to no reward as of yet. I’d love to be able to say that God’s peace which surpasses all understanding and the assurance of His love and grace have made this all easy to deal with, and that I have fully surrendered my life to Him now that I did what He asked me to. Don’t get me wrong, my faith in Christ and the assurance of His goodness has been a comfort in the back of my mind, and I fully believe He is working for my good. But this past month has sucked. I am in a season of anxiety which is physically draining, and I am still not completely convinced that the decision I made was the best one. It still doesn’t make sense why God would allow me to experience something so good just to have to give it up. I’ve also made a lot of mistakes and have been weak in dealing with the aftermath. In some ways, I feel like these mistakes almost nullify the initial sacrifice.

I question if my life is truly any different than before I made this big sacrifice. I press into my relationship with Jesus more intentionally now because I feel helpless, and because I need His help to deal with the anxiety I’m experiencing. But are my actions any different than before? I talk the talk more for sure- people tend to be impressed by my faith based on my words. I do talk about Jesus and Holy Spirit more, but am I walking the walk any more intentionally? It feels like I’m not. I try to spend more time in scripture, in prayer, listening to worship music, worshipping through music, etc. But it seems to be for selfish reasons- I want peace and comfort, I want distractions. Occasionally I am capable of letting go of my things and focusing on others who are struggling and pouring into them- but I did all of this before too. So here is a paradox between wanting to know God, the most selfless being, and feeling like those desires are sometimes selfish. Still haven’t figured that one out, but I am patiently awaiting the guidance from the Holy Spirit and am trusting that He will reveal to me what I need to change in my heart and in my actions. The beauty of it is that God knows the posture of our hearts, and that He loves us the same no matter how messed up we are.

I hate that it takes a season of crap and anxiety for me to desire a fully surrendered relationship with God. Not that I don’t love Him and seek Him when things are good, but I tend to rely on my own strength a lot of time and hold on to the things that are comfortable. I want to truly know God, to truly share in His desires, to truly see people like He sees them. My all-time favourite passage speaks to this:

“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ- the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ- yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3: 7-14

So, this is me once again talkin’ the talk in an effort to figure out how to walk the walk. I am trusting that God is using me in ways that I am not in control of in the meantime. If you’ve made it through this whole blog post, wow. I’m impressed. My written ramblings may not make sense, but for me it is an exercise in making sense of my even less cohesive thoughts. There is no beautiful moral of the story or convincing conclusion, but I leave you with this beautiful song lyric stuck in my head:

“Perfect submission, all is at rest. I in my Savior am happy and blessed. Watching and waiting, looking above. Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.”